Just had an hour conversation with my best friend Neil. I can’t believe its only been 10 days since graduation.
wwworldwide: mom trust me. this post is gonna make us famous
Anonymous asked: how many people did you make out with this year ?!
I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DON’T SHUT THE DOOR TO MY ROOM WHEN THEY LEAVE LIKE IS IT THAT HARD JESUS JUST PULL IT SHUT BEHIND YOU IT’S A DOOR I PROMISE IT WILL NOT EXHAUST YOU
bandbutts: If masturbating while stoned isn’t called weed whacking I don’t know how to live my life anymore
chanandlerb0ng: “hey sorry i was busy” kidding i was watching my fave tv show and u interrupted rude
When someone walks slower than me: omfg your slow ass is clogging up the hallway for the rest of us put some pep in your step grandma
When someone walks faster than me: jesus christ are you on the run from the police this isn't a race you can tone it down usain bolt
When someone walks at the same pace as me: who gave your creepy ass permission to walk with me get the fuck away before I call the cops